This Other Trojan Woman
1. The train was late as usual- forty five minutes late - the announcer
said in a high-pitched voice.
I reconciled myself to an impatient wait
and missing the ceremonial of the premiere
of the translated Trojan Women
acted on the local stage
by local artistes
2. Dark thoughts spread through my mind
I chafed the whole establishment
starting with the politician at the top
to the linesmen at the bottom
3. Seated across, facing away, through the window,
was a young woman who turned wide-eyed
at my muttered impatience;
I was struck by a simplicity almost ethereal;
The freshness of the hills was on her face
and the charm of the young paddy
bending in the breeze,
plain but appealing: the pale yellow saree
with a border of violet, pink and blue flowers
matching jacket with gathered sleeves
4. Her eyes contacted mine: I could not help but smile
I asked without interest, 'Going to Colombo?'
'Yes', she said with the same casualness
'to head office of X bank'
'I've been offered a job'
'That's nice' I said politely 'I was a voluntary teacher, far away in the
Uva Province'
I waited patiently: perhaps there was a story
'But my husband did not like me working'
A case I thought for the feminists
But I said a non-commital 'Oh'
'He was an army officer and got leave rarely- he was in the front…..
When he was on leave he wanted to be with me,
Every day, all day, every minute
He wanted me home'.
5. There was a long pause.
Unexpectedly with a great wrench and pull the train started
and the rain splattered through the window
I moved to the seat next to her
'I understand,' I said softly breaking her reverie
'But now he doesn't seem to mind'
'No…..' She said with a hiccup
'Now he's dead…….'
I looked away. The wind cut through my chest and throat
I heard her whisper
'He died three months ago at Kilinochchi'
6. My throat constricted,
'I tried to find what really happened
He was so brave: put duty above everything;…… even me'
'You see he had served the army for eleven years
I couldn't rest until I found the truth'
'And did you?' I breathed
7. She went on tonelessly,
'They had laid the lines?' with an enquiring look as if I knew
about military strategy.
'It's the duty of the sergeant to do this' to my dumb inquiry
'His sergeant had laid the lines and was coming back
when he fell on a land mine'
I released a long breath.
8. The wind howled and splashed with rain
'He screamed in agony to my husband
He was the major of the regiment!
an officer of his rank would not
go down to save a sergeant
but his men were sons to my husband
he was only thirty three…'
9. The train cutting across the wind drowned her voice
'The sergeant's legs were blasted..
In his agony, he kept crying
to my husband to help him'
The wheels of the train rolling down the hills
made an eerie cacophony
'my husband could not ignore those terrible cries
he went down and was caught himself'
her voice lowered to a whisper.
10. I looked down hard at my clenched fists
The trees spun like tops tossed by a wanton child,
and I saw a mist envelop the landscape
'was no medical attention given?'
I asked - a futile question
'it was- but they had to bring them to Anuradhapura
The enemy now introduces cyanide to the landmines
Which quickly entering the blood, leaves no chance for life'
11. I felt soothed by the wildly plunging carriages
I think I slept
From far away I heard a voice
'my husband was a kind man
he wouldn't even kill a mosquito
he would simply brush it aside'
I was suddenly roused by the intensity of her voice,
'why did this happen to him ma'am- why?'
I could not meet the sheer pain in those eyes
I wanted to say, 'war is like that child'
But rephrased my words
'yes?' she asked doubtfully.
'because in this life he committed no sins- he had no avarice
when his brother wanted his house built for him and me,
he gave it all.
neither was he jealous or proud
he was happy with the little he had'
12. Silence - she in her world, I in mine,
I raised my voice above the storm wind
'how long were you married dear?'
For now I felt a strange kinship with her
'just over one year- but we were in love for nine years
I waited for him to go and get trained
His rise was quick- he became major'
I held my breath;
'…… my parents were against my marriage to an army man
they feared my becoming a widow very young
but my husband charmed them,
he made it clear I was the woman for him'
13. Her eyes shone with unshed tears
I let her speak as she pleased
the train was now galloping across the plain
suddenly it gave a tremendous lurch
I thought it'd derail
'I cried' she said, 'I cried for months'
'But - but' I interrupted
as if she understood she said
'No, no, there is no child
only memory…'
'what about family.. Did they help?'
'Mine did, I'm the only daughter..
They weep for me all the time
I see the concern in their eyes
Often when I wake at night
I see them hovering around my head'
14. The train had settled down to an
even rhythm now: I saw the
drooping waterlilies in the marsh
'His parents…?' I asked casually
'They were never happy with we…
after his death the breach widened
perhaps they blame me for his death'
'but how illogical that is'
I exclaimed
'No… I can understand how they feel
He was in the army safe for eleven years
A year after he married me he died'
'That's nonsense' I cried
Looking for hidden motive
'perhaps it's the insurance money'
'No…. I gave it them-
his salary too that I get I'll give, half to them
wasn't he a god to me?'
15. The train was slowing down
Very soon we'd be there, at our destination
She spoke fast: she wanted to tell me everything
'I felt so helpless at the beginning
my world was blasted to pieces
but now I want to live,'
Our eyes met and hers had a smile
'I want to start again…'
I affirmed warmly,
'Can I?' she pleaded
'Yes, yes, this job at the bank'd be a beginning….'
'Yes, I want to stand on my feet'
I wanted to put my arms around her and pull her closer
to rest her head on my shoulder
but I did not move
I said firmly,
'yes, stand on the earth firmly child, you can'
'and my husband' she said
with a decided tone 'has become a god
wasn't he brave and noble?'
I didn't contradict her. I laid my hand on hers
'yes, dear he must be a god now
he'll watch you from above.
The train stopped with a dull thud.
At the exit we parted: she turned and waved back to me
I waved back and hurried to board the bus;
Curiously I felt spent and dry;
I had no heart for the premiere
Had I not seen the Trojan Woman herself?